Do you catch yourself doing sometimes what you don’t want to just to avoid being ridiculed, criticized, put down, labeled or other way pressurized? This presentation is for you!
I have no doubt about that we are all affected: parents, partners or the salesman in the door sometimes try to get us doing something, what we wouldn’t like to. Then comes the pressure and the arguments referring arbitrary external rules:
“A good wife do it for her husband!”
(Really? Which good wife for which good husband and who set that rule for whom?)
Or: “If you love me you …”
(Really? Is there only one way of showing my love?)
Or, my recent favorite:
“If someone doesn’t give (money for charity in the classroom) the others have to give more!”
Really? Why? They decided to give, which is “I want”, not “I have to”. Their “want” has nothing to do with others “want”, but surely cannot mean that the “others have to” either! But of course my main argument is what lays behind without words: “If you don’t give for charity; you are greedy!”
So you take me to the guilt trip to harvest my money…
Every time, when you begin to feel that uncertain sensation in your stomach; that someone makes you feel guilty, ashamed or ignorant when you don’t behave “As you’ve been told.” or “As you are expected.”
(Note! Even the way how they express it decline any responsibility of wanting you doing something.) You might be suspicious: do you want to manipulate me?
If you know that feeling and would like to be a bit more prepared next time, I suggest the next presentation to you!